


speak now (or forever hold your peace)

by iknowplaces



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Finchel Wedding, Quinn has Feelings, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, bit of an open ending, technically a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowplaces/pseuds/iknowplaces
Summary: Finding out that Finn had proposed to Rachel struck a chord in Quinn that at first she couldn’t explain. She had felt pain in her chest, she had felt an almost overwhelming sense of anxiety and more than anything she felt she had to stop Rachel before she made a bitter mistake. Quinn didn’t know why, she chalked it up to the need to make sure Rachel reaches her full potential, pretending it’s not more.orFinn and Rachel are getting married, Quinn isn't so sure it's the best idea.
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 14
Kudos: 88





	speak now (or forever hold your peace)

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, here i am with the other fic i promised! I am super totally obsessed right now with the finchel wedding dynamic and how Quinn feels about it, so this just made sense. there may be a part two. we will see. hope you enjoy it <333
> 
> so as this is loosely based on speak now by taylor swift, I don't own that song, glee or the quotes and characters mentioned in this fic !

Finding out that Finn had proposed to Rachel struck a chord in Quinn that at first she couldn’t explain. She had felt pain in her chest, she had felt an almost overwhelming sense of anxiety and more than anything she felt she had to stop Rachel before she made a bitter mistake. Quinn didn’t know why, she chalked it up to the need to make sure Rachel reaches her full potential, pretending it’s not more. 

When Rachel told her, she’d done what she could. She tried to tell her not to marry him, she tried to give a good, thoughtful, straightforward answer as to why she shouldn’t. Quinn thought it made sense. She didn’t understand why Rachel was trying to tie herself to Finn, why she was tying herself to Lima. Quinn knew Finn wouldn’t get out of here, and she didn’t want Rachel to have to hang onto the guilt of her husband’s incompetence. She knew that Rachel was scared she wouldn’t make it out, and that this made sense for a girl who’s world was falling apart the way Rachel’s was, but it hurts Quinn to see her make a decision like this. She prays Rachel won’t say yes.

When she does, Quinn doesn’t know why it hurts  _ so _ bad. 

At least she pretends she doesn’t.

///

Wedding dress shopping is painful. It hurts, this whole thing has hurt Quinn more than she’d like to admit. She sees Rachel come out in that white dress and her heart seizes in her chest. She’s not really able to pretend she doesn’t know what that means, not when her pulse immediately quickens and her eyes almost begin to water. She loves the sight, Rachel looks so beautiful, but it aches. It doesn’t feel right. None of this does. Quinn knows Rachel’s making a huge mistake and she can’t believe she’s the only one who can see it. She looks around at everyone else and they all seem pretty fucking happy to let Rachel make this mistake.    
  
Quinn can’t do that. She’d feel guilty for the rest of her life. So she says something. She makes her voice heard one more time, praying to god Rachel will listen. “Rachel,” she says, surprising herself with the lack of shake in her voice, “the thing that I admire most about you is you are a girl that has never apologized for your ambition. You’re the shining star of all of us. Like it or not, it’s true, and as we get closer and closer to graduation, you keep hiding your light behind this stupid Finn wedding thing? I never pegged Rachel Berry as the girl who’d be too scared to take on the world.”

Quinn doesn’t like the way Rachel looks at her, sad, angry, a look that she can’t quite decipher. Maybe she was too harsh, but it was true, and she wasn’t going to lie to spare Rachel’s feelings. Not about this. Rachel nods, looking almost resigned and Quinn feels that ache in her chest once again. “Okay well,” she says, her eyes burning into Quinn, “if that’s how you feel, I’d prefer it if you didn’t attend our wedding.”

She didn’t know how that made her feel. Part of her felt relieved, because she knew going to the wedding would hurt, but another emotion infiltrates her heart and she wishes she wasn’t wise to what it is. She knows it’s the sadness, the hurt that Rachel is really going to do this, that she’s really going to ruin her life by marrying Finn Hudson and there’s nothing Quinn can do at this point. “That’s okay,” Quinn says, even though nothing about this feels okay, “I won’t.” 

She leaves with a heavy heart and guilt weighing on her conscience.

///

Rachel’s solo at regionals captivated Quinn so much she just couldn’t tear her eyes away. The power in that performance, the raw emotion she conveyed so well. The way she had stared at Finn. Quinn had seen it all. Something still didn’t feel quite right, but how could she argue with the look on Rachel’s face as she sang that song?

She wishes there was more to it, and standing in front of Rachel in a hallway they have stood in a thousand times before, somehow she gets the courage to ask if there was. She was begging for water from an empty well, but she had to say something. “When you were singing that song,” she pauses, trying to compose the question, “you were singing it to Finn and only Finn right?”

Rachel looks at Quinn, with a tiny nod, one that doesn’t seem entirely confident, but an affirmation nonetheless. There was the confirmation Quinn really didn’t need. She tries to let go of her still clinging on hope, continuing almost immediately. “He really does make you so happy. I want to support you Rachel,” she says, the words struggling to come out, “and Finn… and come to the wedding if it’s not too late.” 

The smile that spreads across Rachel’s face as she shakes her head is so radiant it almost feels worth it. On any other occasion, she knows her heart would sing given the giggle she elicits from Rachel and the warm arms circling around her, but right now, all Quinn can feel is her heart breaking in her chest and a looming sense of dread.

///

Quinn sits in Rachel’s dressing room, or the courthouse room that had been converted to work as such, and god how she wishes she wasn’t here. She doesn’t know why she came. Her speech hours earlier had been hopped up on the shame of even asking Rachel that question, and she had smiled at her, giggled, hugged her. She was powerless to that, but she really wishes she had the strength.

Rachel stood before her, in that gorgeous white dress, looking just as beautiful as always, but there wasn’t the glow that Quinn had expected. A bride on her wedding day was supposed to outshine the sun, but here today, in Lima’s dingy old courthouse, Rachel Berry looks more nervous than anything. She’s pacing a hole right into the floor, and her eyes haven’t left her shoes.

Quinn gets this feeling a lot lately, but the whole thing feels off. Nothing about this was how she pictured a Rachel Berry wedding, not at all. Rachel’s wedding was supposed to be larger than life, just like her. She was supposed to have more than this, and Quinn hates that it bothers her so much, but it does. It hurts so much.

Her suffering in silence doesn’t last that much longer though, because before she knows it, Sam’s knocking on the door, and it’s all about to go down.

They gather at the doors, pairing up, with Finn and Carole in front, and Quinn does everything she can to choke in a breath. Her heart races in her chest, the anxiety rising, but she tries not to let it bubble over. The organ starts, the doors open, and the procession begins. There’s almost no one in the seats, just Mr. Schue, Mr. Hummel, and Sue. Once again, it feels so  _ wrong _ .

They walk all the way down the impossibly long aisle, until she has to split from Sam, and stand beside where Rachel will, moments from now. She turns, with bated breath, just to see Rachel enter. She looks beautiful, gorgeous, radiant, every word that should always be used to describe Rachel Berry. Once again, Quinn can feel tears burning in her eyes. Rachel walks towards her, and for the first time that whole day, it almost feels right. As she reaches the altar though, she grasps Finn’s hands, and the illusion shatters, right along with Quinn’s heart for the second time that day. 

“We are gathered here today,” the officiant begins, but Quinn doesn’t hear much after that, she doesn’t think she can take it.

She thrusts herself into her own thoughts, her eyes never leaving Rachel as the ceremony continues. Rachel’s mannerisms frighten her, there’s a shake to her hands, her eyes keep flitting to the floor, her shoulders tense. It heightens the anxiety Quinn had going into all this, it only furthers her feeling that this should not be happening. She tunes in then, just as the words, “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” are spoken into charged silence.

Quinn’s whole world descends into freeze frame. Rachel peers nervously around, turning her head almost backwards, making eye contact with Quinn. She can see the fear, see the dread that she knows is reflected right back. It’s then that she makes the decision.

Quinn takes a deep breath, wiping sweaty hands against her dress, and steps forward. “Don’t say yes,” she says, her voice shaking on every word, “Rachel, please don’t do it.” 

Quinn can feel all eyes on her, she knows that they’re all appalled, she can barely believe what she’s doing herself, but her eyes still haven’t left Rachel’s. Surprise rises up in her, as she watches Rachel’s shoulders loosen, and the fear drain from her eyes. She lets go of Finn, turning fully towards Quinn, extending her hand to her. Quinn isn’t quite sure what it means, but she takes it, and Rachel quickly drags her out of the tiny chapel, running full tilt. She doesn’t know what’s happening at all, she doesn’t know where they’re going, she can barely believe this is occurring at all. If she wasn’t hurrying after Rachel, she might’ve stopped to pinch herself.

They make it out to the parking lot in record time, with Rachel searching around frantically as soon as they arrive. “You drove, right?” Rachel asks, almost out of breath.

Quinn nods, pulling Rachel to her car. She opens the door for her, makes sure she’s carefully settled before she lets go of her hand to get in. As soon as she’s seated and she checks to make sure they’re both strapped in, Quinn’s momentary confidence slides away. Rachel’s looking away from her, staring at the pavement out the window, her face paler than Quinn had ever seen it. Nothing happens for a moment. Quinn thinks they both might be in shock. “Quinn,” Rachel says after what feels like a long time but was probably only minutes, “can you just drive? Just, take me away. I can’t be here anymore.”

Quinn just nods, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the lot. 

She drives for a long time in complete silence, drives right out of Lima and onto a highway. They drive through fields for a while, until Quinn finds a comfortable spot to pull over. The sun is starting to go down, washing the car in orange light. When Quinn turns to Rachel, her breath catches in her throat. Rachel always makes her feel this way, but something about this image, bathed in sunset, makes Quinn certain it will stick with her forever. “Thank you,” Rachel whispers, her eyes still not meeting Quinn’s.

“For what?” Quinn asks, even though she’s sure she knows the answer. She wants to hear Rachel say it.

“For saying something,” she says, finally turning her face to meet Quinn’s, a tear slipping down her cheek, “I was terrified. I…I wasn’t ready. As much as I said I was, as soon as I was up there, I was so  _ so  _ scared of what I was about to do, but I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to stop myself. So thank you. You saved me from, I don’t know. Something I just shouldn’t do right now.”

Feeling her heart rock against her ribs, she reaches out for Rachel’s hand. “Of course,” she says, stroking her thumb across the hand, “I could tell you were scared, I just didn’t want you to do something you’d regret.”

Rachel looks at her, eyes alight with tears and something Quinn just can’t read. “You could tell I was scared?”

“Yeah,” Quinn says, softly, “I mean, you looked like you were about to jump out of your skin.”

Rachel hums, looking at their attached hands. “I don’t…I don’t think he noticed,” she says.

Quinn doesn’t know what to say to that. She just follows Rachel’s gaze, watching their hands. Nothing is said, the silence lingering in the air like humidity. It gives her time to think, time to really digest what just happened. She helped Rachel Berry leave Finn at the altar, and for the first time in a long time, things feel right. Quinn feels like she can breathe properly, for the first time since she heard Rachel say that Finn had asked her to marry her. “Things are gonna really suck when we go back,” Rachel says, and it’s a thought that hadn’t even crossed Quinn’s mind. 

“I guess they will, but we don’t have to go back right now,” Quinn responds.

If Rachel asked her to, Quinn knows she’d never go back. It would be that simple, to just run away from Lima, and she’d do it, with a single word. 

“Thank you,” Rachel says again, squeezing Quinn’s hand, “thank you for being here with me.”

They make eye contact, a small smile forming on Quinn’s lips. “Always,” she says, and she means it with everything in her. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it, a kudos and a comment are always greatly appreciated :)


End file.
